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Gratitude Friday 1 24 25 Alive, by the Blink of an Eye

Writer's picture: Bill StaufferBill Stauffer

To survive you need to learn to hold contradictory things in your head at the same time. I am going to die; I am going to live. There is nothing to fear; be wary of everything.” ― Kate Alice Marshall

 

Last week I was in Rockville MD mid-week through Friday for a meeting on recovery at SAMHSA. It was a productive event. I met long known colleagues and made a few more contacts across both the substance use recovery space as well as the mental health recovery community. So much common ground we could build on given the resources and space to do so. There was also an opportunity to bid farewell to outgoing officials and key people retiring after decades of public service and to thank them for their accomplishments. I was very grateful for the opportunity to be a part of this meeting, but that is not the topic of this post.

 

I had to leave two hours early last Friday as some zoom calls needed to happen and I wanted to clear DC before I pulled over for the calls. I ended up getting to Dillsburg PA and did my zoom call from a Sheetz parking lot. I topped off the gas tank and got back on Rt 15 North. A few miles later I narrowly missed losing my life by the narrowest margin. I drove the remaining 100 miles home with a whole lot on my mind and knowing that it was almost certain that people who had been to my south on that highway were not as fortunate as I was.

 

What I experienced was a routine drive with steady but heavy traffic as I rolled into the Harrisburg area in daylight at around 4;30 PM. I was moving with traffic at around 70 mph. I was in the left-hand lane with a tractor trailer immediately in front of me blocking my view forward on the highway and a full lane of traffic filling the right lane. To my left was a jersey barrier beyond a left side breakdown lane roughly the width of a normal car. Normal driving.

 

Two things happened in an instant, the truck in front of me made a quick shift to the right and I felt / saw / sensed a flash of something coming at me like a missile in the left breakdown lane between me and the barrier. There was no thought, my autonomic nervous system kicked in and moved my car a few inches to the right as a vehicle driving the wrong way passed at around 70 mph going the wrong way in that break down lane between me and the jersey barrier. All the vehicles in the rear-view mirror did the same. In the next moment I was back in normal driving conditions. I looked and saw mile marker 37 something and called 911, it took a few minutes for a connection as their incoming calls must have lit up like a Christmas tree. It seemed unreal, like nothing I ever experienced on any road before.  

 

I had two hours to think on the remainder of the drive home. I was in hypervigilance that comes after your body does what mine did. We have reflexes below the level of consciousness. I made the call to Julie she could hear the ok / not ok tone in my voice. Big hugs at the front door. I learned it did end in tragedy. A friend of a friend narrowly missed hitting flying cars and parts of cars that occurred with the high-speed head on collision. The media posted a dash cam video from a traveler in front of me in a less congested area. I could see driver who in a few images appeared to be a younger male. I learned it had gone on for 4 terrifying miles before the horrific crash. The highway was closed in both lanes. Medivac choppers landed in the southbound lanes to save lives. It could have been me getting a life flight last Friday.

 

I had the post adrenal response which is normal in such an event. I knew it was coming, this was not my first rodeo. Not sleeping great, loss of concentration and intrusive images of the blur of a car / missile popping into my head randomly. One week later, I have few words beyond being grateful to be alive. I am connected to all the others on that road in that moment. People who I will never know. I am also connected to those who a few hundred yards south of me who are battling to regain their lives as I go about my day.

 

A data person, I learned that while rare, wrong way driving accidents are dramatically increasing, account for around 500 fatalities a year. They most often occur when it is dark, between 6 PM and 6 AM. Impairment, primarily alcohol is commonly involved and these accidents are associated with older drivers but are also increasing in the under 30 demographic. Intentional wrong way driving as a method of suicide is also on the rise and is being studied.

 

I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful for the first responders who day and day out deal with tragedies as their chosen job. All of their nights filled with images most of us never see and never want to see in order to save lives and keep the public safe. Please do not tell me there are no good people in a world that has first responders. I am grateful to hit post on the fourth Friday of 2025 to share this writing with all my limbs and faculties intact. I am grateful for the mundane things that made up my week this week.  

 

What are you grateful for today?  

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Hi, thanks for stopping by!

I appreciate your taking a moment to check out my blog. Would love it if you add your email to be notified of new posts. Any thoughts or additions you may have, feel free to add them in the comments.

Stay well,

Bill

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