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  • Writer's pictureBill Stauffer

Gratitude Friday 11-24-23 – Post Turkey Day

Well, I hope everyone had a magnificent Thanksgiving. It is a close second favorite holiday to Halloween for me. In the same breath, holidays have always been a bit of complicated affairs. They have never quite squared with the hype of perfection that comes with them. I have never experienced a Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving, although a few more reminiscent of Angela’s Ashes. Given that there are web sites like 7 Tips for Surviving Your Dysfunctional Family Gatherings devoted to the topic, I know I am not alone here. 


Life has been exceptionally busy as of late, and as such I have resorted in a few instances to mining available quotes on Gratitude Friday posts on a given topic of focus. I love quotes, I hope you do too. This week I went searching for quotes that capture the dysfunction that so many of us experience with humor. I am so grateful for humor!


“the definition of dysfunctional family are the people you have to see on holidays” – Louise Anderson


“Thanksgiving is an emotional time. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they see only once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often.” — Johnny Carson


“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” — Oscar Wilde


“What we’re really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving?” — Erma Bombeck


“You think you have a handle on God, the Universe, and the Great White Light until you go home for Thanksgiving. In an hour, you realize how far you've got to go and who is the real turkey.” ― Shirley Maclaine


“If you’re at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don’t like the stuffing or the cranberry sauce or anything else, just pretend like you’re eating it, but instead, put it all in your lap and form it into a big mushy ball. Then, later, when you’re out back having cigars with the boys, let out a big fake cough and throw the ball to the ground. Then say, ‘Boy, these are good cigars!'” — Jack Handey


“Families who coexist all year tend to become dysfunctional with the pressure of holiday emotions. Perhaps humans expect more out of life during the festive season. Those over the age of ten are usually disappointed.” ― Ann Rule, A Fever in the Heart


I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the ‘history’ I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America’s traditions tend to be overeating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it’s a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all.” — Ellen Orleans


Thanksgiving is the day men start getting in shape… to play Santa Claus.” — Melanie White


This was a really, really big year for me. I got to go home for Thanksgiving and sit at the adults’ table. That’s ’cause, you know, somebody had to die for me to move up a plate.” — Andre Kelley


I love spending Thanksgiving surrounded by all these great friends I met in the Best Buy parking lot.” — John Lyon


Thanksgiving is a magical time of year when families across the country join together to raise America’s obesity statistics. Personally, I love Thanksgiving traditions: watching football, making pumpkin pie, and saying the magic phrase that sends your aunt storming out of the dining room to sit in her car.” — Stephen Colbert


I come from a family where gravy is considered a beverage.” — Erma Bombeck


The meal is not over when I’m full. The meal is over when I hate myself.” — Louis C.K.


Some family trees bear an enormous crop of nuts.” — Wayne Huizenga


On the morning of Thanksgiving, I would wake up to the home smelling of all good things, wafting upstairs to my room. I would set the table with the fancy silverware and china and hope that my parents and grandmother wouldn’t have the annual Thanksgiving fight about Richard Nixon.” — Debi Mazar


Last night, Julie and I spent the night with old friends and made new ones. It was an extra special evening. I know I am not alone in respect to experiencing holidays with mixed emotions. I shared these quotes to help spread smiles. All joking aside, by far the best Holidays I have had were spent brining some cheer to people who have experienced profoundly little of it in their lives. Also, a special thank you to all of my friends and colleagues who spent their holiday helping others have a good experience. I am grateful for you all! What are you grateful for today?  

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